Dinner Disaster
by guest with a lot of ideas
Summary: How did Kristoff meet Elsa? They didn't interact during the actual movie and as he is now so close to Anna, Elsa would insist on meeting him. So how would it go? Here is my answer to that question. Note: mild reference to inequality of ethnic groups


Dinner Disaster

Author's notes: The idea is base around something Kristoff did say. How can you know a person after only a few hours? On top of that, Elsa and Kristoff have never formally been introduced. She got a quick look at him on North Mountain and again as Hans was about to kill her but that is it. So, how will a first meeting go?

Setting: the second night after the Coronation Catastrophe.

Kristoff looked over his rather bedraggled form. The last few days had been about as far from his normal routine as possible.

First the "Coronation Catastrophe" or as most were now taking to call it, "The Great Thaw" that nearly ruined his livelihood. Then getting involved with the royal family of Arandelle. Then trying to prevent the murder of said royal family.

Now came the reconstruction. Buildings had to be reassessed so they didn't fall apart due to snow damage. Ships that had been damaged by the ice were being pulled into dry-dock and checked for leaks and other damage that would destroy them on long voyages. The crops were being checked and tended but Kristoff knew that half if it would probably be salvageable meaning that some quick thinking had to be done to save off a potential famine.

Finally looming over all of their heads was the metaphorical storm that could come from the Southern Isles and Weselton. Hans was the aggressor and was at fault, but would his family accept that? An argument could also be made from both sides that Duke what's-his-face had acted both responsibly and in breach of national relations. Cutting off trade from them might be well and good in theory but if Arandelle's crops were in bad shape, Weselton would be the best place to buy food from. Even with his lack of knowledge on political intrigue, he knew that the embargo probably wouldn't last.

However that was all far above his head. The ice man had just finished moving some very freshly cut timber from the edge of the forest into the city using his new sled. This was made infinity easier by the simple fact that Elsa had made a sheet of ice along part of the roadway to allow for reduced friction. If need be one could merely put on a set of spiked shoes and push the wood along.

Up ahead was Captain Ketill Bjornsson, The highest rank in the City Watch. A tall man, only a few hairs shorter then Kristoff himself. But while Kristoff kept his hair relatively the short side Bjornsson reveled the long braids his made out of his red locks. If truth be told when Kristoff first met the man the day prior, he though the soldier would not have looked out of place on a Viking longboat. All that was missing was a battle axe but he probably had one tucked away somewhere. However the two men would never see eye to eye, both in a figurative and literal sense. The very first thing Bjornsson's eyes fell upon were his shoes and a pointed comment afterwards was all the confirmation Kristoff needed to know that the officer was one of 'them'. However the man had been relatively civil and Kristoff would be as will until the matter came to a head.

"Where do you want this load?" The ice dealer called out.

Bjornsson looked down at the diagram he was consulting before responding, "Next area up. Also Kay was looking for _you_."

That didn't bode well. Like the good Captain Kristoff had only met the Kay the previous day but one didn't need to know the Steward of Arandelle long to not want to get on the man's bad side. As the Queen, Elsa was the 'who and what' of the kingdom. She determined the issues the kingdom would be involved in. Captain Ketill Bjornsson was the 'how' the issues would be resolved. And Kay was the 'where and when'. He allocated the resources that he felt were needed and could make or break a project despite what anyone else said. He also explained to Kristoff in no uncertain terms that should the ice man abuse either member of the royal family, a swift end would not be forthcoming.

"Alright. I'll find him after this. Any idea where he went to?"

Red beard had turned away at this point and Kristoff knew a dismissal when he saw one.

He left the sled at the appointed block with Sven still attached. The beast of burden was easily intelligent enough to know that once the wood was unloaded, he was to move out of the way. The mountain man turned his attention to finding the Butler.

He never did. Instead an uproar caught his attention. Curiosity getting the better of him, Kristoff turned toward the sound. The crowd was gathered around one of the smaller docks. Peering over some head, Kristoff saw what could have been a pig, Anna and a several meat pies all floating in the water.

Holding back a laugh he moved through the congregation and aided a few others in helping Anna out of the water. It was saying something when the pig seem more coordinated then the Princess of Arandelle.

"Kristoff!" The red haired woman exclaimed after she was back on dry land. "Kay and I were looking for you." She took an offered blanket from someone and started to crudely dry herself off with it. "Elsa says that supper is almost ready and that you should be joining us for the evening!" Anna was practically bouncing in place in excitement.

Her unofficial boyfriend was no fool. In the past few days, he had yet to 'formally' meet the newly crowned Queen. He didn't particularly count the brief interaction in her frozen castle as that had been more 'escape from giant angry snowman' and after Elsa had de-frozen… de-thawed… returned to normal the kingdom, Kristoff had been shanghaied into helping. He had no real idea WHY he was helping. He and Sven didn't live in the city. They weren't even official citizen of Arandelle seeing as the trolls raised them.

He put his overly warn hands on Anna's shoulders to hold her still for a second. "What do you mean 'supper'?"

"Well I told her how much you have been helping. And that you have no family. Well that you do have a family but no place to stay with Sven. Andhowmuchyouloveme. ImeanIloveyou. I mean… wait what was I trying to say again?"

"Dinner." Kristoff prompted. Anna truly was adorable, but he was quickly realizing that sometimes her mind move far faster than her body could ever hope to.

"Oh right." Anna collected herself and with a distinct air of formally said, "The Queen of Arandelle formally invited her new Royal Ice Collector and Deliverer for a meal to discuss the long term management of the position." She then broke into one of those disarmingly quant smiles. "So you need to start getting ready now." Then as if reading his mind she responded to the unasked questions, "Greda will have a set of formal clothing laid out for you and Sven is more than welcome in the castle's stables for now until we can get something more permanent for him." She then promptly turned on her heel and started walking back up the street to the distant castle. Realizing he was not with her the Princess turned back, "Well, come on."

"I have to get Sven first."

Anna dismissed that before he could even finish the sentence, "Kay has already seen to Sven. I make sure that he would be getting a large bag of carrots."

Kristoff cast about of some other way to avoid this. It wasn't that he didn't want to have a true meal with Anna, or to interact with the personification of his element that was Elsa, it was… "I don't know how to properly interact with other…" Kristoff whispered more to him then his fiery haired girl.

Apparently Anna did hear that because she came back and took his overly worked hands in hers and looked up at him. "Edict doesn't matter Kristoff. This is not a meeting of lords, it is a dinner with the two most important people in my life." This smile was not quirky or shy, it was downright radiant.

Kristoff couldn't help but give in as he was dragged along behind her.

(*(*(*

Nervousness was setting in again. On top of looking the part he felt like a court jester. The undershirt shirt fit well enough, but the over shirt was almost gaudy in color and every time he moved the ice harvester could almost hear another stich breaking. The pants were almost as bad, while waist was good they were overly long in the legs to the point he had to roll them up a little and stick them inside his shoes.

And the shoes. That was the largest point he felt would stand out against him. The pair the old maid, Greda, had provided for him were far too small. It would have been easier to get Sven up all the stairs to Elsa's ice palace then to fit his monstrous feet into those little things. His foot size had always been a problem. Most people just didn't make boots big enough. It had be a joke for years among his family that if they made his shoes waterproof the things could serve as boats for the children. It had been all fun and games until last fall when someone had went through on the threat and was proven true. He lost three left boots in one afternoon. Just the left ones not the right. Without of any other options, the mountain man opted just to weir his pointed shoes to the dinner and hoped nobody would notice.

There was a rap on the door and Kay entered. The butler knew that proper edict demanded he wait but Kristoff was not a noble or the son of a merchant. He wouldn't know the proper edict. "They are waiting for you Sir."

The blond haired man jumped at that and rushed out of the room, seemingly forgetting that nobody told him where the small meal was being held. He realized his fault and returned just as quickly. Kay bowed and lead the way.

He showed Kristoff into a small sitting room on the second floor. "The Royal Ice Collector and Deliverer."

Kristoff entered to the cozy sitting room with a roaring fire, blushing furiously at the title. He couldn't help but wonder how many people Anna had coopted into using it.

Almost an entire wall was made up of glass to allow for a look over the garden. Directly beneath it was a medium sized table set for three, with two of the chair occupied by the royal family. At his appearance, Anna jumped up to hug her guest's arm while Elsa retained seated in a high back chair.

"I am so glad you made it Kristoff. Do the clothes fit? I wasn't sure what size you were so I had to guess." The red head began. "But you do look gorgeous… I mean they look gorgeous on you… Imeanyoulookgorgeousinthem… wait what?" Anna asked as her own face now matched her hair in color.

A small cough behind them brought Anna and Kristoff back to the situation at hand. Anna let go of Kristoff's arm and the blood went rushing back into it in the usual tingling sensation of a limb falling to sleep.

Now Elsa stood from the table and crossed over to them. Kristoff jerked into an unpracticed bow and nearly hit his head on the hand Elsa was extending out to him. Unable to think of what else to do Kristoff grabbed the offered limb and while still bowed kiss a small ring on it like Grand Papy had told him in the evening stories around the fire stones.

He could hear Elsa giggle from above and stood tall again.

"Not use to this kind of company are you Mr. Kristoff." Elsa said with a faint smile but for the most part remained detached.

"As Anna well knows, I am not use to any kind of human company." There was a bit of snark to his voice but he had called out Anna's manners and behavior when they first met, he wouldn't back down to Elsa, Snegurka or not.

That got another twitch of the lips. "Rather impertinent of you Mr. Kristoff. Especially for a man I have given a title to."

He rose to the bait, "It's a title Anna made up."

"True, but one I was thinking of making real."

At this point the younger sister butt in. "Shouldn't we sit down for dinner?" She reminded them.

The Queen turned back to the massive windows and the now setting sun. Anna waving Kristoff forward as she moved as well.

The three of them took seats at the table, and Kristoff quickly noted that when he first entered, Elsa was across from Anna. Now the queen was between the mountain man and the princess. He knew it was intentional but Anne didn't seem to notice and Kristoff would not make a mountain out of a mole hill. At least not over that.

The table was spread out with mostly fish and vegetables. Game was in a panic over the sudden winter and it's equally sudden disappearance and was hard to track so the heavy fish diet wasn't unexpected. What was a show was the small dark brown substance being kept warm by a light fire.

Sticking a finger into it and bring it to his mouth the man retched. "What is this?" He asked.

The sisters looked at him as if he had grown another head. "It's chocolate." Elsa responded. "From the New World." She elaborated.

Kristoff looked back at the stuff in offense before sliding it away. "No thank you."

"How can you not like chocolate?" Anna demanded.

"Never had it before. Most of my diet growing up was fish, mushrooms and berries." Kristoff explained. "It's not like my family has much need for food."

This piqued Elsa's interest. "How can your family not have need for food?" She asked. She could tell that he suddenly got defensive and looked at Anna pleadingly. So it was some secret they shared. That hurt the snow queen a bit as she and Anna had already made a promise to never keep a secret again. Of course, two days was hardly enough time to tell each other everything.

Anna spoke up for the man. "Kristoff's family is very… unusual." But she ended the sentence without further elaboration.

Elsa took the offensive. She was not use to social interactions but her father and mother had drilled political statesmanship into her as the heir to the throne and she used those skills now. "I can't see how that makes a difference unless they are the Rock Trolls tha…" She cut herself off at the look on the other two's faces. "You live with the Rock Trolls?"

"Not all the time." Kristoff defended. "I have a few Goahti and a Lavvu set up at a few points as well as some caves in the winter."

As Elsa reached for a plate of cod she felt herself freeze, not physically but metaphorically. "A Lavvu." She repeated and despite herself the queen glanced down at Kristoff's feet. The pointed shoes were practically glaring at her from under the table.

Anna looked in confusion over the foreign words while Kristoff's face darkened. "Yes. Both a Goahti and Lavvu. I also have a Stuorraniibi knife and a Gakti back in the sled with Sven." He waited for a second to allow this to sink in as understanding dawned on Elsa's face. Anna, bless her innocent soul, looked at the two of them as if they were speaking another language. What she didn't know was that in essence they were.

Elsa spoke slowly, measuring each word to try and make sure it was not offensive. "So then you are a part of the…"

"Sami." Kristoff finished for her. "Kristoff Bjorgman of the Aarjel Sami."

Anna smiled at her realization even as Elsa frowned. "That explains why you have Sven." To her white haired sister, "the Sami people are the only ones allowed to heard reindeer if I remember father correctly."

Elsa nodded in affirmation while thinking of the situation. "I didn't think that any of your people remained in Arandelle."

"They all left after those court cases four years ago. I almost went with them but I couldn't leave my family." Kristoff responded. Now very intent on the baked potato's in front of him.

Anna was out of the loop and she didn't like it. "What are you two talking about?" She asked gently. The red headed princess wanted to know but she could also sense the subject was one that required digression and gentle prying rather then her usually boisterous fashion.

Kristoff took the initiative. "About four years ago, a single Sami woman named Marja-Liisa Olthuis began harassing eventually killed a few citizens of Arandelle. The late king demanded the Sami help them in her capture and execution. The Sami refused to allow one of their own be killed by another's court and as a result, several land owners in Arandelle started to seize Sami land and persecute the people. The case was taken before the King and he ruled against the Sami and confiscated all Sami land in the kingdom." His eyes never left Elsa's down cast face. "As a group, they decided to leave the kingdom and travel north along with their nomadic cousins in pursuit of the reindeer much like our ancestors did. Marja-Liisa Olthuis was captured soon afterwards as she no longer had any Sami to hide her. However she escaped to the land of Rus." Kristoff concluded.

Anne looked at her sister in shock, "Our father did this?" She asked. It was true that four years ago Anna had not paid much attention to court proceedings but she always saw her father as a fair and just man. However if Kristoff was to be believed, he had yet lied to her, then the former King had essentially stolen from Kristoff and his people.

"It was more complicated than that." Elsa evaded. Not looking up from the cod. "Several other factors were important on Father's decision."

An uncomfortable moment seemed to stretch on to eternity before "It doesn't matter." Kristoff's voice broke through. "The Sami elders and the people who left didn't hold any grudge against you or your father for the decision. It needed to be done in order to capture a dangerous criminal." Elsa looked at him in the eye, there was a smile there but it was sad. "We never would have given her up but we couldn't let her get away with what she did either. In the end… it worked out for the best. They came back through a few weeks ago and from what they told me, it had been an amazing trip across the tundra."

"But it wasn't right." Anna exclaimed. "They shouldn't have to abandon their home just become one person broke the law."

"True Anna." Elsa replied quietly. "But as the rulers of this land, we have to do what is best for the most people. The displacement of a few hundred Sami is nothing compared to the thousands that were able to remain safe." She looked up at her sister, "We are ruled by the people as much as they are ruled by us."

Kristoff slammed his calloused fist down on the table causing both of the young women to jump. He broke into a more genuine smile. "Are we here to discuss a past none of us can effect or am I here to meet the Queen and talk about my responsibilities as 'royal ice master of Arandelle'?"

"Royal Ice Collector and Deliverer". The sisters responded in unison.

"Whatever, it's not a real thing anyway." His smile seemed to spread across the table. And the meal became a much more pleasant affair. Anna gave a highly sensationalized recount of how she met Kristoff and what they did getting to and from North Mountain. Elsa entertained them by creating shapes out of snow and ice as Anna somehow turned the giant snowman Marshmallow into an army of evil snowmen with giant pointed heads and Hans was sent back to the Southern Iles as a duck due to Elsa's 'ice magic menagerie' as Anna put it. Kristoff kept using a few odd words like Akka and Snegurka when talking about the sisters but it was apparent the terms were ones of endearment rather than vindictiveness.

They laughed and truly did enjoy themselves until Kay had to carry a drowsy and abstinent Anna back to her bedroom like she was a five year old insisting she wasn't tired even though she had part of a cake smeared on her face when she decided to use it as an impromptu pillow.

Alone in the wee hours of the morning, and by the dying fire light Elsa shot Kristoff a glance. She had to get this settled. "You truly don't hold a grudge against what my father did to your people?"

Kristoff shifted so that he was looking as her square in the eyes. "I don't like people. Over my life they have harmed me time and again." His eyes shot down to his hands for a second and Elsa could see the faint and faded scars that could only be the result of a knife that were thrown into sharp relief by the dying fire. "But that doesn't mean all of them are equally malicious and until I find evidence to contradict that I will continue to hope." He now looked back towards the door Anna had left through. "And in the end, what do anyone have but hope?"

Elsa could understand that. Kristoff might call it hope, Elsa would call it love, but that ever the word was, its meaning was clear.

"One more thing and then I will let you go for the evening. I have asked Kay to make a room up for you in the sables so you are near your reindeer."

"What is that Snegurka?"

She shot him her most intimidating look she could muster. "What are Akka and Snegurka?"

Kristoff laughed for a few seconds. "That's all?" He asked, expecting something more along the lines of 'if you harm my sister I will freeze you into a block of ice so could that you won't melt till next summer' like Kay had given him. She nodded. "Akka is a Sami goddess of noted beauty and children. Snegurka is the name from the land of the Tsars that is used to describe mysterious women who command the snow."

Elsa digested this for a second and smiled softly at him, the first person besides Anna that had warranted such a smile since her parents died three years ago. "Only in private Mr. Kristoff. In public we are the Queen and Princess of Arandelle."

The man snapped a bad salute. "Yes your grace." He then laughed and stood up. Just as he reached the door the large man turned back. "Sleep well your majesty." And then he was gone.

Elsa remained seated for a moment, replaying the evening in her mind. Despite the uncertainty and pain that it began with. She knew that it was easily one of the best meals she ever had. They would have to invite the ice man back again soon.

She was jolted from her reverie by a knock on the door. Stick his head through, Kristoff's blush could be seen even in the dying light of the fire. "Um, which way to the stables?" He asked.

Elsa couldn't contain her laughter as she stood up and lead him down and out to his destination. She defiantly hadn't laughed like that in years.

Post notes

Marja-Liisa Olthuis is a noted anthropologist on the Sami culture and one of the first people to write a full thesis paper sole on them.

Lavvu – a temporary dwelling like a tipi but more vertical and stable in high winds. It allows for people in treeless plains of the high artic to move quickly and still have cover . Covered in animal leather hides.

Goahti – sami hut or tent made of fabric, beat moss and timber that looks similar to Lavvu but is larger and more permanent.

The Sami themselves are a cultural group in the Arctic circle. They were the original human inhabitants of the area as opposed to the majority of the population that came later. From my research they were mostly a hunter gatherer society who kept themselves separated from the coast line people. From what I can tell, most of the persecution of them is rather recent, the past 150 years or so but they have always been marginalized and rarely given rights or legal protection. Traditionally they have a different concept of ownership then most of the modern world and didn't recognize national leaders or boundaries, thus as they have been more defined in the past centuries, they Sami have been adversely impacted and as they have not voice in the matter, their complaints are rarely heard. That has changed in more recent years and they are now formally recognized as the only people in Europe that can make mass use of the reindeer population among other things but their numbers are still very small.

Kristoff was intended to be a part of the Sami ethic group based both on the Reindeer, which was in the original story, and the pointy shoes that the Sami prefer.


End file.
